We live in a world obsessed with personal growth. There are books, podcasts, courses, journals, planners, apps — all dedicated to helping you become more focused, more confident, more productive. And let’s be honest, a lot of it is genuinely helpful.
But Søren Kierkegaard, the 19th-century philosopher and theologian, would probably ask us a hard question:
Is all this self-improvement actually drawing us closer to our true selves — or distracting us from it?
And more to the point:
Has “becoming your best self” become just another way of worshipping… yourself?
When Growth Becomes the Goal
Self-help culture can be genuinely encouraging. It tells us that growth is possible — that we don’t have to stay stuck or settle for less. But quietly, it also sends another message: you’re a project that needs fixing.
So we set goals, track habits, and chase after the next version of ourselves. Over time, without meaning to, we start treating our identity like something to be managed — always upgrading, polishing, improving.
But Kierkegaard saw things differently. In The Sickness Unto Death, he writes that the self isn’t something we create from scratch — it’s something we’re called to become, in relation to God.
And that’s the risk with much of today’s self-help: it often leaves God out of the picture completely.
The Idol of the "Perfect You"
We don’t usually think of self-help as idolatry. But when the pursuit of self-improvement becomes the centre of our lives — when everything revolves around me, my growth, my goals, my potential — Kierkegaard would say we’ve replaced God with an upgraded version of ourselves.
He calls this kind of life the aesthetic life — focused on image, achievement, and avoiding discomfort. It may look impressive on the outside, but it leads to what he calls despair on the inside — a subtle, spiritual emptiness that no vision board or morning routine can fix.
Because in trying to become everything, we forget the one thing that matters: becoming the self God created us to be.
You’re Not a Project. You’re a Person.
Kierkegaard believed the self isn’t something you can design like a website or tweak like a fitness plan. It’s not about constant improvement. It’s about becoming real. Becoming whole. Becoming someone who can stand honestly before God — not polished, but present.
And sometimes, that means letting go of the endless striving and asking deeper questions:
What is my life truly grounded in?
Am I chasing growth… or running from grace?
Who am I trying to impress — and why?
Self-Improvement Isn’t Wrong — But It’s Not Enough
None of this is to say self-help is bad. Discipline matters. Healing matters. Growth matters. But they’re not the destination — they’re meant to point us somewhere greater.
Kierkegaard reminds us that without God, even our best version of ourselves is still incomplete. Because we weren’t made to find ultimate meaning in performance or progress — we were made for relationship. For faith. For truth.
And no productivity planner will give you that.
💡 Feeling overwhelmed by all the “be better” messaging out there? Maybe it’s time to pause and go deeper. Discover Kierkegaard’s radical vision of identity, despair, and spiritual growth in The Sickness Unto Death: A Modern Translation for the 21st Century
— a clear, thought-provoking read for anyone who’s tired of chasing self-worth through self-help.