In an age of instant communication and shifting values, modern relationships are often tested by insecurity, miscommunication, and the pressure to present a curated image of love. Søren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher and theologian, offers an alternative foundation—faith. Far from being confined to personal spirituality, Kierkegaard’s concept of faith has profound implications for how we relate to one another, especially in our closest relationships.
Authenticity Begins with the Self
Kierkegaard believed that to truly love another person, one must first be grounded in authenticity—a self that is not defined by external validation but rooted in a faithful relationship with God. Without this inner stability, people risk entering relationships seeking completion, validation, or escape, rather than genuine connection.
Faith, for Kierkegaard, is a deeply personal commitment that aligns the self with the eternal. When individuals are secure in their identity through faith, they are better equipped to offer love freely, without manipulation, fear, or dependence.
Love Rooted in the Eternal
In The Sickness Unto Death, Kierkegaard explores the human struggle with despair—the condition of being disconnected from one’s true self and, ultimately, from God. He suggests that only by anchoring ourselves in divine love can we avoid using others to fill our existential void.
This is especially true in romantic and familial relationships. Love rooted in faith is not swayed by moods or circumstances. It is consistent, sacrificial, and grounded in a commitment to the good of the other person—mirroring the divine love shown by God to humanity.
Faith Promotes Mutual Understanding
When faith becomes the anchor in a relationship, it nurtures patience, forgiveness, and empathy. Kierkegaard’s vision of love encourages individuals to see one another not merely as means of personal fulfilment, but as fellow beings with their own spiritual journeys.
This spiritual perspective fosters mutual respect and deeper communication. It acknowledges that true understanding arises not from trying to control or change one another, but from recognising the shared calling to love truthfully and selflessly.
Faith as a Source of Stability in Uncertainty
All relationships go through trials—conflict, distance, disappointment. Kierkegaard understood that faith offers a stabilising force amid such uncertainty. A relationship grounded in faith is not easily shaken by external turmoil because its foundation lies in something greater than personal needs or momentary emotions.
Rather than relying solely on compatibility or chemistry, faith-centred relationships are built on enduring trust, shared values, and the willingness to grow together in spiritual maturity.
Bringing Kierkegaard into Today’s Relationships
- Prioritise Inner Growth – Strengthen your relationship with God as a way to deepen your capacity to love others.
- Practise Forgiveness and Grace – Extend the same mercy you receive in faith to your partner, even in difficult moments.
- Love with Intention – Choose love daily, even when it’s inconvenient or challenging.
- Be a Safe Place for Vulnerability – Faith allows space for honesty without fear of rejection.
Explore More from Kierkegaard
To understand more about how faith can transform personal identity and relationships, explore The Sickness Unto Death: A Modern Translation for the 21st Century at www.thesicknessuntodeath.com. This updated edition makes Kierkegaard’s profound reflections accessible and relevant to today’s readers.
Modern relationships are often fragile, but Kierkegaard shows us that faith can serve as a powerful anchor—rooting love in something eternal, guiding individuals towards authenticity, and enabling deeper, more resilient bonds. In grounding our relationships in faith, we open the door to truer connection and lasting intimacy.