In a world where social media feeds are filled with curated achievements and carefully branded identities, the fear of being “ordinary” has become one of the defining anxieties of our time. The relentless pressure to stand out, succeed, and self-optimise is not only exhausting — it is also deeply damaging to our mental health. But long before the rise of Instagram and hustle culture, Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard had already recognised the dangers of measuring human worth by external success.
Success, Individualism, and the “Despair of Comparison”
Kierkegaard understood that modern life often entices individuals to seek validation not from within, but from others. This leads to what he called “despair” — a misalignment between who we truly are and who we think we must be to gain acceptance or admiration. In The Sickness Unto Death, Kierkegaard describes this internal conflict as a spiritual crisis: the self becomes lost in a frantic attempt to become someone else.
Today, this manifests in a society where individual worth is equated with productivity, popularity, or personal branding. We are constantly told to “dream big” and “be extraordinary”, but this creates an implicit belief that ordinary life — with its quiet joys and unnoticed contributions — is not enough.
The Trap of Constant Self-Improvement
The modern obsession with self-help and success often disguises itself as empowerment. But Kierkegaard might argue that much of this striving is actually a form of avoidance — a way of distracting ourselves from the fear of insignificance. Instead of accepting ourselves as we are, we chase endlessly after an ideal self that remains just out of reach.
Ironically, this pursuit can lead not to fulfilment, but to chronic dissatisfaction. When we tether our value to external recognition, our identity becomes fragile, easily shaken by failure, mediocrity, or even stillness.
Reclaiming Authenticity Through Faith and Self-Acceptance
Kierkegaard’s answer to this crisis lies not in achievement, but in authenticity. For him, the “true self” is not something we create through effort, but something we receive — a self grounded in faith, humility, and a relationship with the divine.
Rather than fleeing from ordinariness, Kierkegaard invites us to embrace it. True fulfilment, he suggests, comes from being honest about who we are and aligning our lives with our deepest convictions — not with fleeting metrics of success.
This quiet inward journey may not impress the world, but it restores the soul.
💡 Feeling the pressure to be more than enough? Kierkegaard’s timeless insights may be the reminder we all need. Don’t forget to check out The Sickness Unto Death: A Modern Translation for the 21st Century for a powerful read on identity, despair, and spiritual wholeness.